Jul 30

I confess, I have watched The Bachelorette posted by jwatson on Jul 30, 2014

Maybe you, like me, have watched it too. I’m almost afraid to say that I have because I might get ex-communicated from my church. (smiley face here).

The tv show, The Bachelorette (or Bachelor) perplexes me. Millions of viewers watch weekly, and it’s winning the ratings battle in three target groups (women 18-34/women 18-49/women 25-54).

This series follows the pursuit of one man, or woman, in the search of his or her own Mr. or Mrs. Right from a pool of 25 or so individuals all vying for the Bachelorette or Bachelor’s adoring affection. They go on a series of amazing dates in a gradual process of elimination until only one remains who The Bachelorette, or Bachelor, will then marry.

The not-so-good of dating

Throughout the dating process we hear the participants sound off about their dating experiences:

“She makes me so happy.”

“I feel like he completes me.”

“I love you and my feelings will never change for you.”

This show, on a higher, glamorous plain, sheds significant light on the American practice of dating and its empty promises. Instead of a process to get to truly know someone, dating becomes an exercise to impress the “significant other,” which can only lead two people, who ultimately may tie the knot, to much frustration and disappointment. They wear their best attire, apply their best make-up and put their best, most tanned, shapely bodies forward. And it seems like they are hiding something, which they are.

The hidden truth

What they do not take into account is the fact that marriage, to put it bluntly, brings two sinners together—two people who may say all of the right things during dating but inwardly, are selfishly driven. We get the “for better” part, but, like most of us, ignore the “or worse”. We seek a person to laugh through life with, have fun with and not be alone. Nothing wrong with those things, but it is driven by the desire of the “I want” principle, that selfish craving in all of us that we must have this person or thing more than anything else. It’s called sin. Participants’ proclamations of  “I can’t live without this person” and “he completes me” make it dreadfully clear that this becomes idol worship.

Most people marry because of this “I want” principle. If you were honest with yourself, you too thought that your spouse once completed you. But now that you’ve been through the tensions of life with your spouse, you realize that love isn’t about feelings, which come and go, but about a choice that sticks through bad breath, loud snoring, dirty diapers, sudden weight gain and more serious tensions of life such as children gone astray, disease and death. Life, ultimately, brings us to our knees in the realization that there is only One who completes any of us, and that is Jesus Christ.

The important, critical matter of faith is rarely discussed among participants on this show who are only enamored with the physical, outward appearances (all of the participants could qualify for the cover of Cosmopolitan or GQ magazines). And throughout the dialogues we hear of “how hot she is”, “he brings such passion to the plate” and “he’s such a great kisser.” If those become the measure of a person, then they, and we too, are doomed.

No other person, thing or work will ever complete us. Only Jesus can do that.

Faith is a place where this show and its participants will not go. “I have so much fun with this person” is one of the temporal barometers that these couples bank on for the perfect “can’t miss” marriage. They will one day wake up to life’s reality that the person who they thought completed them couldn’t even come close. It’s the same with a career; money; the approval of man; success; hobbies; our best, most esteemed works and a zillion other things that we turn into idols.

“Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.” –Luke 4:8

The only hope we have in this world is Jesus Christ—not a spouse, a place, a thing, or anything we do. Share the wonderful Gospel that “It is finished!” We can help you:

“Put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption.” —Psalm 130:7


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